Posts Tagged ‘gay’

I have a career, my own place in NYC, and a girlfriend of six years, but I still have not come out to my parents. I’ve never had a boyfriend and started dating girls when I was fifteen, so shouldn’t they just figure it out already? Well apparently not because once a week my mom will tell me,”I just hope you find a rich man. My friend’s daughter moved to New York too and found a rich man.”

Not coming out to my parents when I still lived with them was an obvious advantage of course. I would have girls sleep over all the time and they never had a clue as to what went on behind that door :o) However, now that I’m getting older, the whole situation is just really irritating. I know that I will have to tell them eventually, but at this point I choose to avoid the drama.

A huge part of the problem is that my family has never been close.
My aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins have never been in my life and my parents are just difficult people. I can sum up the personality of my father in one sentence: He still thinks George W. Bush was a great President. My mother on the other hand is just crazy. If you say something that she doesn’t like, you’d better watch out for the piece of furniture flying towards your head.  I know for a fact that my parents would disown me in a heartbeat.

I have easily come out in all other areas of my life. I told my sister when I was 16 after she asked me, “Are you funny?” My cover was blown with my sister when my girlfriend at the time spontaneously shaved her head and ended up looking like a big butch. I lost pretty much all of my friends when I came out in high school, but I never let it bother me.  I was too busy trying to pick up chicks anyways.  Thanks to Facebook, I now know that all those homophobic jerks in high school are now gay. I’m lucky enough to work in a very gay dominated industry so coming out at work is a piece of cake.  All of my straight girl colleagues think it’s kind of cool.

I just think that coming out to your parents isn’t meant for everyone.  My girlfriend is completely out to her family, but still makes up fake boyfriends at work.  There will always be a situation where coming out just isn’t a good idea, especially when you know that it’s going to be painful and unnecessarily dramatic.  Who needs that shit anyways….as long as you’re true to yourself right!

So what if I still have one pinky toe in the closet!

1.  Lesbians won’t approach you at a bar because they think you’re a bisexual whore looking for a threesome with your boyfriend.

2.  Nobody ever believes that you’re gay,  and thinks that you’re just going through a phase because of a bad boyfriend experience.

3.  Men become way too interested in your life.

4.  Finding another single lipstick lesbian is next to impossible.

5.  Butches get ALL the girls!!!

6.  When you walk into a lesbian bar, everyone looks at you up and down and then whispers to each other, “Well she went to the wrong place.”

7.  You get more action from straight girls wanting to experiment.

8.  Most lipstick lesbians are mean ass bitches.

9.  When you come out to someone they always have a crazy look on their face and then say…”Well I had no idea! You don’t seem gay!!!”

1o.  Everyone thinks that your butch friend is your lover.